Divorce: Why Do People Cheat?

Cheating is a major social taboo. Those who have been cheated on know firsthand how damaging it can be to them. It is not only an act of betrayal, but it is also more than likely to cause betrayed partners to ask existential questions about themselves. It can ruin somebody’s self-confidence–or worse, it can lead to a divorce that results in suicide.

What are the reasons for cheating? Does everybody have the potential to cheat? Or does it take a special type of individual to do it? 

Reasons Why People Cheat

Experts have determined individual risk factors such as personality, gender, political orientation, and religiosity. 

One contributing factor is disconnection. A sense of disconnection can occur for different reasons. One of the most typical causes of cheating is the feeling that an individual and their partner have moved slowly apart. In this specific scenario, cheating can feel like a coping mechanism in seeking something thrilling and new when their relationship has become foreseeable and familiar. 

People also often utilize the word “love languages” to describe how they show affection and love to one another. Some partners connect more verbally by saying affectionate words, while a few may want to show affection physically by cuddling or kissing. If the love languages differ between each individual within the partnership and are not accounted for, this can leave each individual to feel that their needs are unmet. They may feel unloved and more willing to the love of somebody who seems to know them more. Hence, feeling unloved is a reason why people cheat. 

There are also instances when a partner can begin to feel a bit more like a parent and the other is like a kid, especially if cooperation is absent in the relationship. For instance, one partner may feel they need to be accountable and more mature. That partner may feel like they are the one who organizes the home, manage finances, and makes decisions, while the other does not pull their weight. An affair may then look so tempting so they can feel appreciated and equal. 

Falling out of affection and love can lead to cheating which later leads to divorce. Boredom can lead way to an affair, seeking the excitement of the chase, with passion being connected with newfound excitement and love. Few individuals can find that in their life partner. Therefore, they aren’t seeking a way out of their marriage, but they are seeking a spiced-up experience. The famous sex and relationship therapist Esther Perel discussed why cheating is not the ultimate betrayal. Having difficult conversations from the beginning about commitment and love can help couples steer clear of rocky waters, particularly when it comes to infidelity.  

Woman Playing Chess
Photo by Engin Akyurt from Pexels

Life After Infedility 

Research published by the National Institutes of Health discovered that one partner in eighty-eight percent of couples cited cheating as a contributing factor in divorce. 

If you have recently been cheated on and are seeking a divorce, you may find it difficult to separate on mutual terms. In this case, consider hiring a Divorce Mediator as an alternative to traditional litigation.

Read Alexander M.‘s review of McNamee Mediations on Yelp

The saying, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” refers to individual motives for cheating; the quality of an individual that makes them more susceptible to cheating. You may not be able to control your partner’s susceptibility to cheating, but you can take control of your life by calling a certified mediator today.

McNamee Mediations
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660, United States